Saturday, June 14, 2014
Men's rules for Women
We keep getting all these, "rules from the woman's side", emails so we figured it was time for a "rules from the man's side" email, these are our rules! Learn Them, memorize them and use them!
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. if it's up, put it down, we need it up, you need it down. you don't hear us whining about you leaving it down.
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. live with it.
Saturday Sports
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! just say it.
we don't remember dates. mark them on a calendar and remind us frequently.
Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. that's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Check your oil. please
anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. in fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.
if you think you're fat. you probably are. don't ask us. we refuse to answer that question anymore.
if something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry. we meant the other one.
let us look. it doesn't hurt anyone, and for us. it's genetic.
whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
All men see in only 16 colours. peach for example is a fruit, not a colour. we have no idea what mauve is
we are not mind readers and we never will be
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing". we will believe you.
when we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine
you have enough clothes.
you have too many shoes.
it is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couh tonight, but did you know, we really don't mind that, it's like camping :)
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