Apple Troll on Lost Man

You've stated that you believe that there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. does that mean there is universe out there where I am smarter than you? yes. and also a universe where you're funny - Stephen Hawking

Coffee? Oui. Sugar? Non. You speak very good French! Gracias

I'm going to introduce you to Pinterest. but first, please take a moment to say good bye to your family & friends

So, what are your motivations? just give me money and I'll do shit for you.

Hey i like this girl but I'm kinda nervous to ask her out. Just do it! I bet you $10 she'll say yes. Okay.. you wanna go out with me? Umm noo sorry not my type. right. you owe me $10. Forever Troll

Whenever I get mad at you, you never seem to get upset. How do you manage to control your temper? I just go and clean the toilet. how does that help? I use your toothbrush

Why live in an 100,000$ apartment when you can live under a 5 million dollar bridge

Son, a little birdie told me that you have been doing drugs. it seems to me the only person who has been doing drugs is you, since you apparently talk to birds.

me, 2, and my brother, 4, having a birthday party in 1998. when good old grandpa shows up. gwandpa! Hey, Dad, it's great you could come. did you bring the boys anything. well of course I did I brought them whistles and permanent markers

My phone is broken. okay. so. you're texing me from a broken phone? yes, i can't send text messages

You're Mexican right? Yeah. Why? My yard is looking pretty bad right now and I was wondering if you could get some family members and mow it for me. bye. please I'll give you guys free tacos. did you say tacos?! okay be there in 5

Hey whats up? gas prices. Lol, dad I meant like what are you doing? Your mom. I want to move out

is the computer off? Good. here is a list of things you wanted to check online

Atleast no one got shot during my move. only your uncle

Talking during class. Hey you! do you want to come up here and teach the rest of the class. Yes sure!! Class is over... go have an early break everyone

Read books.. not bottlecaps.

Call me a doctor! call me a doctor! why??? what happened??! are you sick?? No I just graduated from medical school!

Hey, buddy wanna hear a joke? sure. girlfriends. I don't get it. Exactly. Forever alone

After the doctor visit goes great. I walk out of the doctor's office like this. just so all the little kids in the waiting room start to get scared