Damn girl are you sitting on an F5 key? Cause that ass is refreshing

I don't always lick my balls. but when I do, I lick your face as well

That wasn't a fart. I was just blowing you a kiss with my butthole

Homemade with love. in other words, I licked the spoon and kept using it

You said your period was over the fact that my penis looks like a murder weapon determined that was a lie

An old lady goes to the Doc because she has an itchy crotch area. The Doc told her she has crabs, She said "she couldn't have crabs because she was a virgin" the Doc decided to do more tests. The Doc says "I have some good news and some bad news, The good news is you don't have crabs, the bad news is your cherry is rotten and you've got fruit flies.

Some girls should be restricted from wearing yoga pants. I just saw a camel toe that looked like a queen sized mattress folded in half

LIFE is DESIGNED to KICK your ASS

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug

I want you to know that every time I fart under the covers.. I'm doing it because I care about you and I want to keep you warm. don't fight my methane cuddles. Enjoy Them

Unfortunate back sweat

Premature Ejaculators Anonymous. Looks Like I came too soon!

Can i bring you anything else? orange juice, tissues, your balls maybe?

On being called a karma whore

There's no such thing as a dirty mind, it's just a sense of humour with adult content

I feel so lucky. You wanna hug me. What rhyme with hug me? Fuck me Right?

We're all gonna die, water is wet

That's the eighth stamp on your NICE GUY CARD! Now you can stop pretending to care about me as a person and we can have all that sex you deserve! Hot diggity!

Last Night was awesome

A.Neal report for booty