It was nice meeting you, I forgot your name as soons as you said it.

Dear Face Wash Commercials, Nobody actually splashes their face with water like that, Sincerely, my bathroom is sopping wet now.

Grammar is important, For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat grandpa. Lets eat, grandpa.

Ok, I'm getting out of bed in 10 seconds.1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,9,9,9,9....

Internet always seems to get way more interesting when you have work to do

It's Payday and I'm on lunch break...Of course I'm at Target

I could be a morning person... If morning happened around noon

What do you do when you miss your ex? Re-load and shoot again.

When I was little, I didn't care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it's obvious that my parents didn't care either.

Let me ask you a few questions. Any weapons? Drugs? Alcohol? No thanks, but I wouldn't mind a cup of coffee.

Yeah, it is scary. it's terrifying. especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you. I am not a psycho! I just told you I love you and all you heard was "psycho"

There are three kinds of people. Impatient. Patient. and Rich

Pretending to think hard when your teacher is looking at you.

Sees Facebook Fight. Read all comments

How people remember your birthday. Memory. Facebook

Getting out of bed for school in the morning

How I feel at the front of the red light turning Green

When you hear a song and every single word perfectly describes your situation

Mom there is nothing to eat...

Y u no tell me which is the real one?!

The Dark Knight Rises

Finding the exact answers to your homework on Google

When Facebook stalking someone and I find their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas. 656 pictures? Dont mind if i do.

After exercising I always eat a pizza... just kidding. I dont exercise

Oh really? You know what that sounds like? Not my problem

Getting dressed in the morningwould be so much easier if my pinterest closet were real.

If you liked it then you should have put a pin on it

I dont always study. But when I do, I make sure my parents see me.

Sometimes I laugh because I have no clue what you just said

Think the flowers... Feel the flowers... Be the Flowers

I dont care what people think of me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive

If a genie grants you 3 wishes but says you cant wish for more wishes can you wish for more genies?

You can only stlk your friends on facebook for so long, but there is always new stuff on pinterest.

Leave me so I can cry over the deaths of fictional characters.

If you don't want to talk about it, dont post vague status updates on Facebook fishing for people to ask you what's wrong.

Thank you for updating Facebook again with what you ate for dinner. The suspense was killing me.

I'm too cool for Facebook

I tried my best to see things from your point of view, but your point of view is stupid

Do not ever underestimate my ability to find shit out

My "I hate you" face must look very similar to my "tell me more" face. I'll have to work on that

If someone breaks your heart, punch them in the face. Seriously! Just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.

No Issues today. I'm in my awesome bubble and you're not allowed inside

Dear McDonalds cashier, don't give me that look. There's no age limit on a happy meal. and dont forget the toy

A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.

I hate it when people are at your house and ask "Do you have a bathroom?" No, we shit in the yard.

Everyone's on Facebook with their political rantings and I'm just over here on Pinterest tryingto find a good cupcake recipe

I've never met you but we're BFFs on pinterest. You repin my shit and I repin yours.

Look at all the homework I'm not doing this weekend

"Don't talk to strangers" Well, how am I supposed to make friends?

Common sense is not a gift, it's a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it