Hey it's 4am and I can't sleep so I'm using you and this message as a way to make myself tired, thanks in advance

Like a fat kid down a hill.. that's how I roll

It's all fun & games till.. your jeans don't fit anymore.

Dear Girls, dressing immodestly is like rolling around in manure. Yes you'll get attention, but mostly from pigs. Sincerely, Real Men

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing "K" instead of "OK"?

The moment when you find the most awesome recipe or craft or beauty tip on Pinterest.. and the link leads to nothing

Cheezburger not ripe yet

I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person

This Christmas I've decided to put mistletoe in my back pocket. so all the people I don't like can kiss my ass

I know lal the new phrases : "cowabunga", "radical", caat's pajamas, duh and hey, homie don't play that