If I was stranded on a desert island and I could only bring one thing, I would bring Dora. That girl has everything in that backpack

I've seen enough films to know the bad guys are here

Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?

Wine doesn't have the calorie count written on the label. So I'm going to take that to mean it doesn't have any.

What if I told you.. The bugs did NOT die.. of natural causes.

I plan on spending the next two months proving my theory that you can live solely on things made with pumpkin

What if all the boys were headed to the yard anyways and my milkshake has nothing to do with it

I hate when I'm set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out.

This year, I'm secretly stuffing the turkey with prozac.. so we can finally have a stress free holiday!

You understand my sarcasm in a text.. this is exactly why we're friends