If you were a cookie, you'd be a whoreo.

My goal wasn't to disappoint you. That just sort of happened.

Shut Up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.

It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook.

You have a problem with my attitude? I have an attitude... You have the problem.

No, no, no. I'm not insulting you. I'm just describing you.

Fake nails, fake hair, fake smile. Bitch, are you sure you weren't made in China?

Want to freak out your neighbors? Name your wifi... "FBI Surveillance Van"

I see, so if I don't have sex with you I'm a prude bitch, if I use the pill I'm a slut, if I get pregnant I'm an idiot and if I choose abortion I'm Satan. Yay.

I just saw her picture on facebook, she looks like something i draw with my left hand.